AS THICK AS THIEVES

(Lights on. Mel is walking around a living room. There’s a small duffle bag beside the couch and a coffee table nearby. There’s a gold bracelet and a small vase sitting on the table. Mel is casually inspecting the space. She pockets the bracelet.

Enter Irwin. He jumps back at the sight of Mel.)

IRWIN

Mel? (Irwin runs over and gives her a hug. Mel half-heartedly hugs him back.) What are you doing here?

MEL

Just thought I’d come check in on my favourite baby brother. Make sure puberty didn’t slap you too hard. (Eyes Irwin up and down) Not bad. Could’ve been worse.

IRWIN

Shut up.

MEL

I’m kidding. You look…mature. (Mel leans in and stares at Irwin’s face. She holds her finger up to his lip.) That can’t be a mustache I see, can it?

(Irwin playfully slaps her finger away.)

IRWIN

So how are you? Are you back for good? Where are you staying?

MEL

Calm down, Nancy Drew. Hey, Barb’s not with you, is she?

IRWIN

No, um, she’s…in the hospital, actually.

MEL

Shit. Is she okay?

IRWIN

It’s…not great. (Beat) Wait, how did you get in?

MEL

Broke a window. You should probably get that fixed.